The Law of Attraction Sucks!

Life Coaching, , ,

 

Well, it does if you have had a traumatic background. Don’t get me wrong I actually do love and believe in the law of attraction. However, it is not as simple as some would lead you to believe. Affirmations and manifestations are only as useful as the person’s ability to believe in them.

Over and over my clients will come to me and say. I watched The Secret, I have read the books, I believe in the law of attraction, so why can’t I manifest anything? The simple answer is because they don’t really believe it is possible. And if they do believe it, belief is not enough. Standing and repeating affirmations to the sky is not enough. Writing your order to the universe is not enough. I get their frustration and why they think The Secret sucks. They have been let down by it over and over.

The good news is that these clients, are now manifesting and attracting good things into their lives with consistency and ease. How did they go from it sucks to it works? They did the following.

  1. They took a deep dive into their past wounds, to see what traumatic events were still impacting their mindset.
  2. They revealed those triggering events and healed them through the use of targeted coaching and the use of mind-body techniques.
  3. By revealing and releasing these old wounds they made space for the things that they wanted to manifest in their lives.

The most important foundation of manifesting things you want and using the Law of Attraction is the 100% belief that it works. If you have unhealed wounds, then there is a part of you that is incapable of believing that good things are possible. That part of you will reject the vibration and energetic attraction, that is needed to manifest and attract the good stuff.

Once you clear out the lingering energetic clutter, you would be surprised what the Universe sends you to take its place. It truly feels like magic. But first, you have to make space for it.

Do you see yourself here? Has the Law of Attraction craze left you feeling like the one person left out of manifesting magic? Let me help you get on the pathway to attracting more of what you want in your life, money and or business. Contact me here if you would like to schedule a Discovery Call.

Are you on Facebook? Join us in my private group called Wealth Worth and Wisdom. We would love to have you there.

I have a gift for you! Learn what your Money Mindset Type is by downloading this Guide. In this guide I show the 4 Types of Money Mindset I see the most, and share links to videos I created to teach you more about them!

8 Steps to Forgive With Love and Gratitude

Life Coaching, Online Business, women in business, , , , , ,

nicole-cry-3Forgiveness work is tricky. I have been in therapy multiple times over the years, and the process of revealing and releasing pain and working towards forgiveness has been an ongoing journey. I have written letters that I have sent to people and some that I have burned. I have thrown my grievances into a fire and sent them gently down streams. Were these exercises helpful? Yes, I believe that they were in many instances. They helped me build pathways to new ways of thinking and experiencing my pain and the perpetrators of it.

As a therapist, I will admit that I have given similar homework to my clients and they have had a variety of results depending on their willingness to dig deep. Forgiveness work is tricky.

What I have continued to struggle with, has been how to forgive, and to let go of resentments and anger. I thought that I had forgiven those who harmed me including myself. I really did, but what I found is that when I engaged with that person or even thought of them, I would get sour and negative. Forgiveness is easier than recovering from the impact the event has on our life. Even so, I still sought to find new ways to forgive that will stick.

I want to back up here and say, that just because you forgive someone does not mean that you are obligated to allow them in your life.I am going to say that again, just because you forgive someone does not mean that you are obligated to allow them in your life. In fact, I think that 80 % or more of the time, those who have harmed us need to be in our rearview mirror. Yet, sometimes that person is someone that we love, and want to have in our lives in some small way that will not continue to harm us. That is where the hard work comes in.

I have forgiven scads of people, that I do not allow into my life anymore. They are permanently evicted from my sandbox! That has been easy! What has been hard had been setting loving limits, with emotional and physical boundaries with those that I want to still have in my life? What I have found is that having them in my life even in some small way continues to “poke the emotional bear” How can I be in a relationship with those that I have forgiven, without being re- wounded, and reminded of why they needed forgiveness in the first place? This is a delicate dance for sure.

This morning I meditated and yes I asked my angels and inner wisdom about this ongoing need to find forgiveness not just for past deeds but in the present. Especially when that person continues to live in their shadow and not seek the light. This is the message that I received.

“You have focused on the things that need to be forgiven enough. Now focus on loving that person and thanking them for the good things that they gave you” Hmm,Interesting

Ok so I have written down the “gifts” that came from overcoming the challenges that person or experience created for me, and while it was hard I could find them. But, I never looked for the gifts from the actual person. I had never allowed myself to looked at their light and explore what was there. I had only looked at how their shadow had impacted me and “forced” me to evolve or learn a life lesson.

So this is new for me. There may be those of you who are thinking “Oh my gosh Nicole how can you just be coming around to this” ? Fair enough, but I am a firm believer in timing and now is my time, because now I have an audience that can benefit from my tears.

Back to the List of Love and Gratitude. I sat down with my notebook and I wrote the person’s name at the top of the page. I began to write down the things that are good about this person and how I benefited from their goodness. How their light had impacted me in positive ways, and what I was grateful for that they given me. I will not lie, at first, it was hard because my wounded angry voice was quick to point out something BAD about this person with each positive thing I wrote down. This peep of mine would not be ignored so I took a breath, and I said to her “We have a lifetime of cataloging the bad things that this person did, we have ongoing evidence of how they wounded us, please do not think that you are being ignored, you aren’t. Allow me to find the light, because none of us exist fully in the darkness there is light to be found”. I promised her that I would keep her safe and that this was just a plot twist and experiment to see things from a new perspective.

Once I addressed her needs and soothed her she let go of her vice grip of negativity and the list flowed. The list flowed onto two pages I might add, and for the first time in years, I felt a deep release. I have documented that release in pictures because in the moment I felt a calling to show you what it looked like. Despite bed head, no makeup, and a blotchy face I needed to show you my pain. I thought that I would experience relief, but what I can tell you is that the first emotions were extreme pain and grief. It did not overtake me it just felt like a reverence for it, which allowed for love gratitude and relief to finds its way quickly to my heart.nicole-cry-1

It has changed me, and I will take this exercise and complete it again with the others who are on that list. I know this was a long post, and if you are still with me I am so grateful for your attention and for witnessing my journey. I hope that it will give you some hope and a tool that you can use to find some true forgiveness as well. I am going to outline the steps that I took but before I do that I want to speak to you about safety. Listen carefully. Forgiveness work can be transformational but it can also be highly triggering. Remember that I have had years in therapy and tons of personal development work as a coach. So I want to make a few points.

If you decide to try these steps that I outline, I want you to make sure that you are grounded. Say a prayer for safety first to the source of light that you rely on. I want you to allow yourself to go into the process without judgments of yourself. If you feel too emotional, or unsafe at any point I want you to stop, and again say a prayer to your guiding light and come back again later. You do not have to barrel through these steps. You know yourself and if you feel triggered take care of yourself and step away. Do not underestimate the power of this process.

Here are the steps that I took:

  1. I picked the person I wanted to focus on and wrote their name at the top of the page.
  2. I invited my angels and inner wisdom to help support me through it.
  3. I began to think of that person with love and gratitude.
  4. I wrote down a list of the things that I love about that person.
  5. I wrote a list of the things that this person did for me that were loving and good and that I am thankful for.
  6. When my inner voice got angry and tried to divert me back to my old way of thinking about this person, by reminding me of the bad things? I simply acknowledged her, and invited her to be a part of the new perception and honored her feelings.
  7. I gave thanks to my inner wisdom and guides, and let the tears flow.
  8. I journaled about my experience, and how it made me feel and what it is like to look at this person with new eyes.

What I had hoped for in going through this process, was to find some neutrality. I was not seeking to take this person from Villan to Hero. I simply wanted to take my perception of this person from Villan to neutral. In reality, it will not change anything about how I interact with this person in real life. We will not frolic in the daisies and go on picnics. NOPE, things will look much the same, but I WILL FEEL differently.

Now I am sharing this with you, in the hopes that it will create a ripple of forgiveness in your life. However, I do want to remind you that forgiveness does not mean those people who have harmed you are allowed access to you. For example, if a family member has been abusive in some way you can find forgiveness for them, but it does NOT require you to allow them access to harm you again. Physical and emotional safety is always a priority when we are working on forgiveness.

If this was helpful, please comment below, or send me a message by clicking here.  Are you interested in a deeper discussion on how you can find forgiveness? Contact me to find out more about my coaching programs. 

If you would like to hang out with me and a group of other amazing folks? Join us in my Facebook Group Wealth Worth and Wisdom. We would love to have you.

7 Steps Towards Hope and Healing Post Election

Life Coaching, Online Business, women in business, , , , , ,

This is not a political blog.I am reluctant to invite the energy of politics and all that comes with it into my little blog bubble. But what do you do when your friends, family, and clients ask you with shaky voices, so what happens on Wednesday? They know that no matter who is elected, that the road to this election has created divisiveness in their own lives, and they fear it will continue. What do I tell them? How do I help when too am worried? I suppose we get back to basics. So this is my feeble attempt to be of some help to you when you wake up Wednesday morning on 11/9/16 regardless of if your candidate won, and regardless of if you are an American. I have many friends family and clients all over the world who feel just as helpless about this race.

7 Steps Towards Hope and Healing Post Election:

  1. Take a deep breath and know that you will be OK. You have more influence than you think, you are an influencer of the world and your little square within it. Try not to feel hopeless and helpless. Spend a moment and send love to yourself, those who have been less than kind, and to both candidates. Loving energy can change the world, what we focus on expands, so focus on love.
  2. Remember what we were taught on the playground anyone who knows me knows that sports are not my wheelhouse. I do not follow sports nor do I play them. However, I do remember as a child being taught during recess and on my softball team that being a gracious winner and not a sore loser are skills for life. Take a moment to give the other side a mental or actual handshake and say “well done”. We meet in the middle and say good game. We then go and analyze our part in the outcome, What could I have done better? What strengths did they possess? Or what did we do well, and can build on for next time? Destroying each other and tearing it down offers no personal growth opportunity. Don’t take your ball and go home, stay in the game this is where the gold is.
  3. Take a hard look in the mirror. Ask yourself. Have I been kind? Have I been harsh and judged people for their choice? Have I been quick to argue with complete strangers on Facebook or twitter just because I needed to get my angst and anger out? If the answer is yes, you are in good company. It is so easy to do. We must look at our own behaviors and be honest about where we have fallen short. We cannot change others behaviors only our own. When we can truly assess our part in the division and ripples of anger, only then can we have more patience for the other person. We go from being a victim to a participant.
  4. Know that you did not win or lose. Just because your candidate won does not make YOU RIGHT or the other WRONG. All it indicates is that your candidate represented a larger section of the country that agrees with their policy. If you can really take this on, you will be less likely to  gloat if your candidate is chosen and less likely to want to fight back because your candidate was not chosen. Notice again I said chosen not win or lose.
  5. Resist the urge to create more division. In truth as opposite as we can be on issues, I know without a doubt that there are some common beliefs, values, and issues that we all hold dear. Seek to be curious about what the “other” side has in common with you, we have talked ENOUGH about how we are different. Find common ground and focus on those issues, what we focus on expands. We can be expansive in our connection and collective next steps.
  6. Take action- contact your representatives whether you voted for them or not. Tell them that you do not want 8 more years of obstruction, anger, and refusal to find common ground. Tell them that you want them to find a place to come together on issues and you expect them to act with integrity. Tell them that you support them in taking those tentative steps towards working with the other party on important issues that benefit us all. Give them permission to get out of the partisan shackles.
  7. Finally- express radical gratitude. We have our problems but we still have much to be grateful for. When you can find 3 things each day that you are grateful for it changes your vibration. It takes you from fear to love. I have said it before what you focus on expands so above all focus on gratitude and love.

I know that we can make a shift in our country for the better of us all no matter who is selected as President if we are really willing to take these steps. I am grateful that this election has gotten us out of apathy and inspired us as a nation to pay attention. I am grateful that I was able to vote in a historic election. I am grateful that I have learned how to send love to those I find challenging as a way to survive in this hostile climate.

We can do great things if we are willing to take a look at ourselves first, be honest about how we have contributed to the breakdown, and open to doing the divine work of fixing it. What a huge opportunity we have here….

I hope my friends, family, and clients who have sought out comfort from me will find some in this post. Wishing you all peace on your path. 

P.S. If this resonates with you please share…comment or contact me here with feedback

Shameless Promotion

Online Business, women in business, , , , ,

#IamBeingBoss by posting about my first online program. I say shameless promotion and I mean it! How many times have you made an offer for your services, voice shaky, palms sweaty as you put a price on your life’s work? Only for someone to say ” that is too much” , ” I don’t have the money for that” and my favorite after these others statements are made….wait for it.  ” I DON’T HAVE ANY MONEY BLOCKS” 

I feel you! So what do I do as a Money Mindset Expert when I launch my online program and webinar and have not one sale in 24 hours?  I use my tools, I tap for my frustration, I look at the psychology of buying and see where I can make changes, I know that I did not spend enough time actually promoting my program. Do I let the ” Itty Bitty Shitty Committee” weigh in on my worth? Hell no! DO I give up? Of course not!

This is not personal people, I know what I offer is of HIGH LIFE CHANGING VALUE, it is all logistics. SO I make a shameless promotion! Here is what my clients have said about the results they have gotten from working with me.

“I was able to release money blocks and step into hosting a one of a kind live event”

Jeannie Spiro

Business, Marketing & Sales Strategist

Founder of www.JeannieSpiro.com

 

“I am thrilled to begin this new chapter debt free”

Donna Cravotta

CEO, Social Visibility Expert, Social Sage PR LLC 

 

Still, think you don’t need this? Think again. Are you starting to feel like there is shame in promoting yourself or your business? Shameful feelings in making an offer and putting a price on your services? Should there be shame in promotion? If you have even a hint of a YES to this question, we need to talk.

I am excited that there are TWO ways that you can work with me now. You can take advantage of my online course by clicking here and getting it for $497 for a short time. The first 10 people who sign up will get a one on one coaching call with me which is valued at $275.

If you are not an online program person and want to work with me one on one? Here is the link to schedule a discovery call with me. 

I have a gift for you! Learn what your Money Mindset Type is by downloading this Guide. In this guide I show the 4 Types of Money Mindset I see the most, and share links to videos I created to teach you more about them!

 

 

Money Mindset Taking the Mystery Out of Making Money

Life Coaching, Online Business, women in business, , , , , ,

Sometimes you just need a client to share their experience of what it was like to change their mindset around money. I could not say any of this any better than she did, and I am so thankful that Jeannie Spiro wrote up this amazing blog post where she includes her work with me around money mindset. I am going to share her blog post here as it is an amazing testimonial to what can happen when you work on your mindset. Even successful business coaches have room to move their mindset to manifest BIGGER money and opportunities.

If you have a money mindset that includes things like money trauma, scarcity thinking, money shame, and downright fear, you are not alone. Much of our current experience with money is predicated on messages from our past. The good news is that when these old messages show up in the present, we can address them and release them with the proper support and tools.

Read on here

Isn’t there so much wisdom here? I am honored to call her a mentor, friend and kick ass client! SO much gold here!

If you recognize yourself in this post? If you too have that voice in your head that is keeping you from making the money you know you can. Please contact me and schedule a complimentary discovery call so we can put a plan in place to master your mindset.

I have a gift for you! Learn what your Money Mindset Type is by downloading this Guide. In this guide I show the 4 Types of Money Mindset I see the most, and share links to videos I created to teach you more about them!

P.S. If you want to join us on Facebook ask to Join my group Wealth Worth and Wisdom

What The Heck Is a Financial Trauma?

Life Coaching

Can you have financial trauma? Yes! Absolutely! In this post, we will take a deeper dive into trauma and how it can impact your ability to earn money, and increase the abundance in your life?

What is a financial trauma? It is something that has happened to you, your family or someone close to you that created a belief that money is scarce and that you are not safe! I have shared a video that I created to talk more about financial trauma and how it can impact your money.

Check out the video here. 

What do you think? Did you see yourself in this video? Have you experienced a financial trauma? Can you see it showing up in your money still? I would love to hear more, please comment below or contact me so we can talk further.

I offer a complimentary discovery session for anyone interested in exploring their money and how mindset impacts it. If you would like  a discovery call? Contact me. 

I have a gift for you! Learn what your Money Mindset Type is by downloading this Guide. In this guide I show the 4 Types of Money Mindset I see the most, and share links to videos I created to teach you more about them!

How Your Family Impacts Your Money Mindset

Life Coaching, Online Business, women in business, , , , , , ,

Hey there!

So in this post, I have included a video that I created where I talk more about family, money and shifting paradigms. I talk about a client who did not believe her history could impact her money, and how I showed her how easily our history can impart our money.

 The culture we grew up in informs our behaviors around all things including money

Check out the video, and find out why a Middle-Class Mindset is kryptonite to a business owner! 

I am curious to know how your family paradigm has impacted your money? Can you see where you may have let these untapped blocks get in the way of your creating more money in your business? If you would like to chat more about how to change your paradigm around money? Contact me...I would love to chat.

I have a gift for you! Learn what your Money Mindset Type is by downloading this Guide. In this guide I show the 4 Types of Money Mindset I see the most, and share links to videos I created to teach you more about them!

How To Tap Into Your Mind Body Connection With Money

Life Coaching

My business is growing and this makes me so happy! Money Mindset is becoming a huge focus in my business and the more I share this message with people the more curiosity there is about Money Mindset and its impact!

So I decided to make a series of videos that will teach you more about Money Mindset and why it is CRUCIAL to your success in business! So let’s get started! In this video I will share with you an exercise you can do which will help you reveal a money mindset block!

Tap Into Your Money Video 

So how did you feel about your savings? What was it like for you to look at your money? I would love to hear what this was like for you! Please comment below, and contact me if you want to learn more.

I have a gift for you! Learn what your Money Mindset Type is by downloading this Guide. In this guide I show the 4 Types of Money Mindset I see the most, and share links to videos I created to teach you more about them!

Love Is All You Need

Life Coaching, Online Business, women in business, , , , ,

I am sad, so very sad, I think you may be able to relate. The news is grim, violence, death, and despair are everywhere it seems. I wanted to reach out to you with some words of hope and of love. My desire is to share with you some of the ways that I manage the darkness that befalls us all. Here are a few things that I do.

  1. Practice gratitude – this morning I was feeling low and tired and fed up, but when I remembered to practice gratitude, it was very easy for me to make a healthy list of all I am grateful for in this moment.
  2. Media Fasting– The media has a purpose of generating news and ratings and this is done in ways that can feel overwhelming. You can stay informed without harming yourself emotionally.
  3. Use a mind-body technique to ground. I use EFT Tapping with my clients and in my daily life and I have included a link that shares with you how to use tapping for tragedy. I hope you will check it out as a resource, and know that if you need me to help you learn how to tap I am here to help.
  4. Love– send love to those who are hurting, to yourself, and find a way to be loving even when you want to be angry. This is a hard one, but it is so needed for our own sanity and for the world. To raise the vibration we need to send love.

Here is a link to a video of people from all around the world singing All You Need Is Love. The editing is a bit choppy but you will feel the power when you watch it.

Join me in sending the world love and light. If I can be of any help to you please reach out to me, here. 

Independence Day Has A Personal Meaning

Life Coaching, Online Business, , , , , , ,

Today is July 4th or Independence Day as we call it in the USA. Many of us think of fireworks, beach days, cookouts and celebrations when we think of this day. It is a patriotic holiday and one we celebrate as a country with pride and much fanfare.

But what if this day could be a celebration of much deeper meaning? When you consider the actions that took place for this holiday to even exist, what are some of the ideas that come to mind? Could it be acts of courage? Perhaps it is a desire to think out of the box and manifest something new? Maybe to create something that others have never even dreamed possible. Self-sacrifice comes to mind as well as a commitment to something bigger than ourselves.

What if we looked at this holiday as an opportunity to go within? To find deeper meaning in ourselves. What if we could decide that this is a day we give ourselves time for self-reflection and independence from those things that do not serve us.This day can be about the determination to not stay in a place where hope and possibility are unavailable to us. This day was founded on taking bold action against naysayers to do what “ cannot be done” If you pause to think maybe you need is deeply personal, a desire to find a home, where you can be your true self without judgments, fear or danger.

If you could search your heart in this moment and think of one thing that is holding you back? One thing that is making you feel chained to an old life or way of thinking? What would it be?

Is it the belief that you cannot make more money? That you will never have a successful business? The belief that finding love is for other people? Is it the feeling that you will never be free of depression or anxiety? Could it be that you are doomed to never truly express who you are without judgments? Are you chained by what “ they “ might think? Whoever THEY are….

I can tell you exactly what has kept me from feeling Independent. The entirety of my life until very recently I have felt less than and not worthy. These feelings of low self-worth have manifested in many ways throughout the years but the one steady expression has been that I have felt fat. Whether I was fat or not I have always felt fat. I binge ate, dieted and self-abused myself up to a unliveable weight. I was so heavy and sick that in 2006 I had weight loss surgery to get freedom from obesity. I did lose a significant amount of weight, but I never got my Independence or the freedom I was seeking.

You see there is more to fixing” feeling fat”, than just losing weight. I struggled to gain my worth for a long time.9 years later I am so much further on that path and I feel so much hope. I have gained self-worth and love. I have done the hard mindset work, I have been in therapy, I have had all of those steps needed for a hero’s journey. You know the ones, I will not go into them all. I find myself today at this point in time, where Independence Day is not about food or fireworks. It is deeply personal. I have taken one more step towards Independence.

IMG_20160704_094224644Today I loved myself enough to go to the gym and move my body out of love and not hate for it. I cannot tell you how huge this is, and how hard claiming my Independence from self-loathing and abuse has been. These are my final steps, I have the love of my life, I have safety and security, I have a business that I love, I have a belief in abundance and that good things are coming my way. Now I am taking steps to be free of that final chain…so that I can have a body that is healthy, that I love and that loves me.

My deepest desire for you is that you take a moment today and think of that thing that you need independence from. Perhaps you could journal about it, or tell a friend or loved one. Name it, and claim your independence from it with one small step.

If you need help in naming and claiming your independence from this “ thing” that is holding you back. I invite you to reach out to me and let me help you. You can do this, with support and guidance I promise it is possible. Schedule A Complimentary Discovery Session with Nicole Here

Wishing you many blessings on this Day of Independence.