Each day I watch people post their challenges, struggles and aggravation on Facebook, in emails, texts and just about anywhere on Social Media. The frustration I have is that I KNOW these people and I know that they have just as many exciting things happening in their lives as bad. If not more! Yet they rarely highlight them!
So why are they only sharing the struggles? Why do they not share their blessings and joy? You could say well they are just negative people, you know a Debbie Downer. That may be true but that is a pretty simple answer. It goes much deeper. I know this to be true because I am a reformed Eeyore.
I was taught not to brag about myself. I was taught it is better to be humble and not too visible. I listened as my family shared gossip, negative tails, and their challenges with very little attention paid to their blessings. The conversation would be a little bit like this “How are you doing? Well my body hurts, my bank account is low, and no one will help me with my yard” Or discussions about friends or family that always focused on the negative, scandal or gossip. Rarely did anyone say “Did you hear about so in so’s news and isn’t that just so great for them?” Nah.
In full disclosure and without blame, I will say that I was not taught to get excited for other people. I was not shown how to express genuine joy and happiness for other people and their fortune. I downloaded a superstitious way of being in the world that warned that I should not get “too happy” or “too joyful” or celebrate because it could be taken away from me. Or even worse that I could be disappointed in greater proportion to my joy. The template went like this Talk about your health, gossip about other people, complain about your spouse, siblings etc whomever is not in the room and then wallow in victim speak.
I and many like myself were not given a template on how to Express Joy Gratitude and Happiness for others. This is a shame. Don’t get me wrong I do not blame them, this was how they were taught. It is called a Family Paradigm. I recognize it in myself and my clients daily. It is strong deep and not easily changed.
We all have bad days, I have my share, and it is OK to grumble sometimes. That is not my point.Here is how to tell if you are an Eeyore! I challenge you to go back through 30 days of Facebook posts, emails texts wherever you spend most of your social media time. Count the number of positive posts and negative posts. If your negative posts out number the positive? Say this in your best Jeff Foxworthy voice “YOU MAY BE AN EEYORE”
I can tell you that as an Eeyore in recovery that you can change your vow to be invisible, and miserable. I use EFT with my clients to teach them to let go of these limiting beliefs. I teach them how to step into their Happy Brilliant lives without fear of retribution or that they will become a target. If I can do it you can do it too!!!! Let me help you be a reformed Eeyore too!!!!
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