Tag Archives: Inner Critic

The truth about intuition, and a blue bird!

Have you ever found yourself in a place where you know it is time to make a change? Maybe it is time to make some hard decisions about a relationship you are in. Maybe it is becoming clear that it is time to leave your job or maybe even your career? Whatever the decision is that you need to make? The ability to ignore that decision gets harder and harder. Maybe you watch TV more, you hang out on social media, hell maybe you indulge in 2 extra cocktails or beers to silence the noise. It does not work for long does it?

The voice that is loud in your ear is your intuition, it is your wise mind. It is the voice that knows what needs to be done for your higher good even if it feels scary, or hard. This intuition when trusted can be the catalyst for more in your life than you ever imagined. But,how to be brave?

How to follow something that comes to us in the very place that also houses our greatest doubts? Our inner critic, the shame and experiences that catalog our life so far. This jumbled mind, the wild west of all of the things that inspire us and terrifies us? It is not easy to trust is it?

I am very familiar with that voice, that very voice has given me the courage to leave relationships that were not for my highest good. It showed me the way out of jobs that were unhealthy for me, and a career that had run its course. It has not always been easy because my Inner Critic has been just as loud for as many years. But, there is a way to see your way through. Keep reading..

Right now as I write this, I am in the middle of that war of Inner Critic and Wise Mind. It has been a loud and noisy battle that has been raging about the future of my business and client work. My wise mind is so loud and so emphatic! It has the passion of a teenager who knows FOR A FACT THAT THEY WILL DIE if they do not get to go to the beach party with the other kids. It is that certain, that loud and that passionate about the fact that I need to rebrand myself. It is emphatic that I should call myself a Business Therapist and that I should offer more than money mindset, and that I should be the emotional support person for entrepreneurs, coaches, healers, and business owners. It has quite a compelling argument.

The other voice my Inner Critic is telling me, that without question if I decide to step into the spotlight as a Business Therapist that not only will my business die, but I could die as well. It is saying, “ This would be catastrophic! No one would want that! Who are you kidding!! WTF? Nicole? Are you listening?” Whew also pretty loud and scary. SO what to do? What do we do when we are in the middle of the pivot?How do we handle the battle for real-estate not only in our mind but in our future decisions?

We look for signs. Yup. External signs.Nudges to act. Consistent confirmation from outside sources that add up to show that there is a defined road map forward in following our intuition and that we will indeed be OK.  How do we get these signs? We get still, we ask and then we watch.

Last weekend I was on my hill, the war raging in my head. I sat in the grass and I got still, and quiet and I surrendered. I said to the universe I surrender, send me a sign so that I have the courage to follow my wise mind. Then I waited. I waited some more. My Inner Critic had a tantrum but I held fast and then it happened.

The most beautiful blue colored bird flew by me, I watched it fly up towards a tree and disappear. This got my attention, I asked myself, “ where did it go? It was right there? “ I kept looking at the tree but the only bird in the tree was a average looking brown bird. Then something amazing happened.

That average brown bird took flight again and soared over me once more with the most gorgeous blue underbelly and wings I had ever seen. It hit me like a ton of bricks. This bird was average looking and uninteresting until it spread its wings and flew. When it soared through the air it was gorgeous! Purposeful! Almost magical! In that moment I knew I had my answer.

In order to stand out, you must stand in your truth. To attract the attention that you desire YOU must spread your wings and fly! When we soar our true self, talents and unique beauty is revealed to the world. So, my intuition wins this round. Soar, show your true colors! And so it is…

Wrap up tips on how to follow your intuition:

  1. Recognize that you have a wise mind and it has been giving you signs and nudges all along.
  2. Get still, be quiet even for a short time so it can reveal itself to you in full without static from your inner critic.
  3. Ask for a sign or guidance
  4. Wait and watch
  5. Follow the answers that come to you with trust.

I hope this has been of help to you. Spread your wings, show your authentic self. It will help you make those hard decisions with confidence and purpose. If you are in need of someone to help guide you through those next steps once you have made your decision to pivot in your business, or life. Reach out to me here. Lets chat to see how I can be of service to you and your wise mind.

P.S. I would love for you to join us in my Facebook group Wealth Worth and Wisdom. Click here to ask to join.

Free gift- Knowing your Money Mindset Type is crucial to success of your business. Learn more about yours here.

Why I Don’t Want You To Fake It Until You Make It!

I used to be a clinical supervisor for a methadone clinic, and I have a vast amount of experience with addictions. I would say 80% of my direct practice had some kind of treatment of addictions at its core. I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard a client say “ Fake it til you make it” or even better a dollar for every time a therapist or self-help group told them to do this.

It never sat well with me, I did not like the saying or what I saw this mantra  “ DO” to those clients. It set them up to lie to themselves. That inner voice of theirs, that critic reared its head every time someone would say that phrase. What I have come to learn is that our inner critic, shadow, saboteur whatever you want to call it does NOT appreciate being lied to. Nor, does it appreciate being ignored.

The more the client’s faked it, the further away from their inner voices and guidance they got. They would then be triggered by the inauthentic way they were showing up in the world, which would trigger their shame and send them into a downward spiral towards relapse. Now, I am sure that there will be 12 step followers who are aggravated with me right now because they have used this mantra as part of their recovery. I believe that if they look closer they will see it was not this mantra, that helped them recover, it was the targeted steps they took towards their goal, showing up real and raw to the world and learning how to heal their shame.

If you disagree with me that is A-OK with me, I wish you well and I am happy for your recovery. I send you light and love.

However, you will not hear me say Fake it til you make it to my clients. I have heard this phrase used by other coaches, speakers, personal development gurus and each and every time I cringe. I DO NOT WANT you to fake anything because it will trigger your Inner Critic to call bullshit on you. Once your Inner Critic calls BS all bets are off and it will actively work at getting you to take another course.

No, do not lie to yourself. Do not fake anything. Please!  So, you may be wondering what to do instead.  I am so glad you asked. I want you to learn how to OWN IT UNTIL YOU GROW IT!

  1. Be honest with yourself about your emotion in this moment. Hold no judgments about it and just be curious.
  2. Feel your feelings, I KNOW THIS IS SO SCARY, but do it anyway! Feel your feelings so that you can take a breath and ask your inner voice. Why am I feeling this way and what does the part of me that is triggered need right now?
  3. Pause and wait for an answer, again with curiosity and no judgments.
  4. Talk with someone you trust to discuss what steps and intentions you need to put in place to achieve the goals you want. It is important that these steps and intentions feel possible and are in alignment with your authentic self. Not just a list of things that someone else tells you that you SHOULD DO!
  5. Wake up each morning and make a small list of intentions for the day, and at the end of the day celebrate those you attained. You must celebrate your progress, and this is impossible to do if you are faking it.

It is my deepest desire to help my clients create a pathway towards empowerment in all areas of their lives, including money, business, self-worth. This requires us to get to know ourselves better, identify our patterns of behavior so that we can change them, and not simply fake it!

Do you want to learn how to Own it until you Grow it? Does a pathway to empowerment sound like a groovy idea? Fill out this form to contact me for a complimentary discovery call.

Are you on Facebook? Join us in my private group called Wealth Worth and Wisdom. We would love to have you there.

I have a gift for you! Learn what your Money Mindset Type is by downloading this Guide. In this guide I show the 4 Types of Money Mindset I see the most, and share links to videos I created to teach you more about them!

 

Shameless Promotion

#IamBeingBoss by posting about my first online program. I say shameless promotion and I mean it! How many times have you made an offer for your services, voice shaky, palms sweaty as you put a price on your life’s work? Only for someone to say ” that is too much” , ” I don’t have the money for that” and my favorite after these others statements are made….wait for it.  ” I DON’T HAVE ANY MONEY BLOCKS” 

I feel you! So what do I do as a Money Mindset Expert when I launch my online program and webinar and have not one sale in 24 hours?  I use my tools, I tap for my frustration, I look at the psychology of buying and see where I can make changes, I know that I did not spend enough time actually promoting my program. Do I let the ” Itty Bitty Shitty Committee” weigh in on my worth? Hell no! DO I give up? Of course not!

This is not personal people, I know what I offer is of HIGH LIFE CHANGING VALUE, it is all logistics. SO I make a shameless promotion! Here is what my clients have said about the results they have gotten from working with me.

“I was able to release money blocks and step into hosting a one of a kind live event”

Jeannie Spiro

Business, Marketing & Sales Strategist

Founder of www.JeannieSpiro.com

 

“I am thrilled to begin this new chapter debt free”

Donna Cravotta

CEO, Social Visibility Expert, Social Sage PR LLC 

 

Still, think you don’t need this? Think again. Are you starting to feel like there is shame in promoting yourself or your business? Shameful feelings in making an offer and putting a price on your services? Should there be shame in promotion? If you have even a hint of a YES to this question, we need to talk.

I am excited that there are TWO ways that you can work with me now. You can take advantage of my online course by clicking here and getting it for $497 for a short time. The first 10 people who sign up will get a one on one coaching call with me which is valued at $275.

If you are not an online program person and want to work with me one on one? Here is the link to schedule a discovery call with me. 

I have a gift for you! Learn what your Money Mindset Type is by downloading this Guide. In this guide I show the 4 Types of Money Mindset I see the most, and share links to videos I created to teach you more about them!

 

 

Money Mindset Taking the Mystery Out of Making Money

Sometimes you just need a client to share their experience of what it was like to change their mindset around money. I could not say any of this any better than she did, and I am so thankful that Jeannie Spiro wrote up this amazing blog post where she includes her work with me around money mindset. I am going to share her blog post here as it is an amazing testimonial to what can happen when you work on your mindset. Even successful business coaches have room to move their mindset to manifest BIGGER money and opportunities.

If you have a money mindset that includes things like money trauma, scarcity thinking, money shame, and downright fear, you are not alone. Much of our current experience with money is predicated on messages from our past. The good news is that when these old messages show up in the present, we can address them and release them with the proper support and tools.

Read on here

Isn’t there so much wisdom here? I am honored to call her a mentor, friend and kick ass client! SO much gold here!

If you recognize yourself in this post? If you too have that voice in your head that is keeping you from making the money you know you can. Please contact me and schedule a complimentary discovery call so we can put a plan in place to master your mindset.

I have a gift for you! Learn what your Money Mindset Type is by downloading this Guide. In this guide I show the 4 Types of Money Mindset I see the most, and share links to videos I created to teach you more about them!

P.S. If you want to join us on Facebook ask to Join my group Wealth Worth and Wisdom

Independence Day Has A Personal Meaning

Today is July 4th or Independence Day as we call it in the USA. Many of us think of fireworks, beach days, cookouts and celebrations when we think of this day. It is a patriotic holiday and one we celebrate as a country with pride and much fanfare.

But what if this day could be a celebration of much deeper meaning? When you consider the actions that took place for this holiday to even exist, what are some of the ideas that come to mind? Could it be acts of courage? Perhaps it is a desire to think out of the box and manifest something new? Maybe to create something that others have never even dreamed possible. Self-sacrifice comes to mind as well as a commitment to something bigger than ourselves.

What if we looked at this holiday as an opportunity to go within? To find deeper meaning in ourselves. What if we could decide that this is a day we give ourselves time for self-reflection and independence from those things that do not serve us.This day can be about the determination to not stay in a place where hope and possibility are unavailable to us. This day was founded on taking bold action against naysayers to do what “ cannot be done” If you pause to think maybe you need is deeply personal, a desire to find a home, where you can be your true self without judgments, fear or danger.

If you could search your heart in this moment and think of one thing that is holding you back? One thing that is making you feel chained to an old life or way of thinking? What would it be?

Is it the belief that you cannot make more money? That you will never have a successful business? The belief that finding love is for other people? Is it the feeling that you will never be free of depression or anxiety? Could it be that you are doomed to never truly express who you are without judgments? Are you chained by what “ they “ might think? Whoever THEY are….

I can tell you exactly what has kept me from feeling Independent. The entirety of my life until very recently I have felt less than and not worthy. These feelings of low self-worth have manifested in many ways throughout the years but the one steady expression has been that I have felt fat. Whether I was fat or not I have always felt fat. I binge ate, dieted and self-abused myself up to a unliveable weight. I was so heavy and sick that in 2006 I had weight loss surgery to get freedom from obesity. I did lose a significant amount of weight, but I never got my Independence or the freedom I was seeking.

You see there is more to fixing” feeling fat”, than just losing weight. I struggled to gain my worth for a long time.9 years later I am so much further on that path and I feel so much hope. I have gained self-worth and love. I have done the hard mindset work, I have been in therapy, I have had all of those steps needed for a hero’s journey. You know the ones, I will not go into them all. I find myself today at this point in time, where Independence Day is not about food or fireworks. It is deeply personal. I have taken one more step towards Independence.

IMG_20160704_094224644Today I loved myself enough to go to the gym and move my body out of love and not hate for it. I cannot tell you how huge this is, and how hard claiming my Independence from self-loathing and abuse has been. These are my final steps, I have the love of my life, I have safety and security, I have a business that I love, I have a belief in abundance and that good things are coming my way. Now I am taking steps to be free of that final chain…so that I can have a body that is healthy, that I love and that loves me.

My deepest desire for you is that you take a moment today and think of that thing that you need independence from. Perhaps you could journal about it, or tell a friend or loved one. Name it, and claim your independence from it with one small step.

If you need help in naming and claiming your independence from this “ thing” that is holding you back. I invite you to reach out to me and let me help you. You can do this, with support and guidance I promise it is possible. Schedule A Complimentary Discovery Session with Nicole Here

Wishing you many blessings on this Day of Independence.

3 Tips to Help You Conquer Loneliness While Building Your Online Business

Does Your Online Business Leave You Feeling Lonely? 

I will be honest with you, I never imagined when I decided to create an online business as a Life and Money Mindset Coach that I would be so lonely? Oh, and to be brutally honest I never imagined how challenging it would be and how many new skill sets that I would have to learn as well. Coming from a therapy background my experience was much different, I saw my clients in person and had daily interactions with my peers. Hell, after I got my degree and started my practice all I needed to do was show up, provide excellent clinical services and do a bit of paperwork.

But I digress. Needless to say I was not prepared for the many demanding and isolating tasks that come along with an online business. I am a problem solver, so I began to look for opportunities to expand my tribe of peers, supporters and mentors.

These are 3 Steps I took to feel less isolated and meet some amazing new people.

  1. Find Local Women’s Groups That Are Not Strictly Networking Based

I looked for local women’s groups that had social activities and not just business networking events. I found an amazing group locally called, Kick-Ass Female Entrepreneurs organized by Anne Kirby. This group meets once a month and the meet up varies from Happy Hour, Karaoke, to more organized meet and greets with speakers. I have met inspiring, smart and fun women in this group. Not only has the group been a boost in my social life with women who “ get it” but it has also provided me with some new clients.

  1. Join a Local Co-Working Space

I found a co-working space which was a perfect fit for me, The Candy Factory is a tad quirky,and is run by creatives who always have something new and interesting going on. For a very small investment I was able to obtain a monthly community membership, which allows for me to co-work 2 days per month and attend their community meetings and events. It has helped to know that I have a local space to land when I want some human contact, or want to attend a Lunch and Learn, or a class on how to brew beer, or do my taxes. See what I mean? You name it they offer it! I bet that you have a similar space in your community. Find it! Join it! It has been worth every penny!

  1. Meet New People When You Travel

Do you have a favorite Podcast that you listen to? Perhaps you follow someone’s blog and you just think that they are the cat’s meow? Keep them in mind when you travel! One of my favorite Podcasts to listen to is All Up In Your Lady Business hosted by Jessica Stansbury and Jaclyn Mellone. I was delighted to hear Jessica talk about her home town which just so happens to be a small mountain town where my father has retired. I sent Jessica a message and suggested that the next time that I visit my Father perhaps we could have coffee, and to my surprise she agreed. I think sometimes we forget that the people behind the screen or the microphone are normal women just like us, and that they might be lonely too.

Last month that meeting finally took place as I was visiting for a family wedding! Here is a 944697_10208174058621976_1694465770981637653_npicture we took at our Talk Fest Coffee Date in the mountains. Not only did I have an enjoyable time getting to know Jessica but I also learned some new tips for running an online business. Jessica’s skill set is so far from my own, she is a Nerdy Tech Guru who helps women with their online businesses. My only hope is that learning about Money Mindset from me was as interesting to Jessica.

Have I made my point? Having an online business does not have to equal isolation, and mind numbing daily tasks. You can have a rich, meaningful, social life with people who “ get it”. When traveling look for opportunities to connect as well, it can make an obligatory trip into a way to connect with new and fun people.

Let me hear back from you. What are some ways that you combat loneliness while building your business? 

As a Life and Money Mindset Coach, I offer a Complimentary Discovery Session for those who are interested in learning more. If you would like to chat?Grab your time slot now as I only have a few open. http://www.meetme.so/NicoleLewis-Keeber

P.S. If you would like to learn more about the resources that I referred to in this post, here are easy links to them.

All Up In Your Lady Business Podcast

Jessica Stansberry

Jaclyn Mellone

The Candy Factory Membership

Anne Kirby

Vulnerability is the Bat Signal For Your Inner Critic!

Have you ever stepped out of your comfort zone and did something big? Something different? Maybe something fun but still scary? How did you feel before? How did you feel afterwards? I have a hunch you had a range of emotions that ran from butterflies in your stomach, irritation, anxiety and maybe afterwards regret.

So why, then do we have these feelings of discomfort when we step up and do something new or different? I will tell you why! It is because when we do something new or different it makes us vulnerable, and VULNERABILITY is the Bat Signal for your Inner Critic! Or your Inner Peeps as I often call them!

You know that voice the one that shoulds all over you? The one that is in your ear constantly trying to control your actions and feelings; and is often relentless. Yup. I know that voice too.

I am all about transparency, my clients know that I share victories and challenges. We walk through this coaching experience together. Earlier this week I got head shots done for my business and it prompted me to do a series of videos to show you what happens with our Inner Critic and how I can show to handle it.

Video One- The Leap

Video Two- The Chatter

Video Three-Mastery

Enjoy them, learn from them, and I would love it if you could give feedback about your Inner Critic.

PS: If you want to learn more about strategies for Firing Your Inner Critic, I invite you to download my free Book on the topic by signing up for my newsletter.

 

How To Fall In Love With Your Business – Step 3 – Visualization

Have you ever had an Aha moment that changed everything in your life?

I never imagined that picking up the book Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert and reading it each day would change everything. One decision to read it, one chapter, and one sentence at a time it changed everything. In one moment I realized that I was abusing myself with my own business and that it had to stop.

If you would like to learn more about my Aha moment and what you can do to Fall In Love With Your Business as well check out the blog post that started a movement: How to Find Big Magic and Love Your Business.

The response to this blog post from other women in business was dramatic, they were also having Aha moments so I took that excitement and created a blog series. You can read the first two steps on How You Can Fall in Love With Your Business Again right here: Falling In Love With Your Business Step 1 and Falling In Love With Your Business Step 2

I am so excited to share with you the 3rd step to Falling In Love With Your Business! Visualization! You must never discount the power in a vision, when you can see what you want and where you want to go, it helps you get clarity on how to get there. So, here is what you do.

  • Imagine your business as if it is  an entity, an energy source, a partner in creation to communicate with.

I can hear you saying “ Nicole what do you mean by that?” let me break it down.

  1. If your business were a person who would it be? What would it look like? Maybe it would not present in human form. Maybe, it would be an animal, or some other connection with nature.
  2. It could also be an energy source and not have a human or animal form. What color would it be? What would the energy feel like?
  3. When you determine what your business is and how it would present to you, ask yourself how you would communicate with it? Can you see you and your business in partnership? Neither of you have the power so there is no mean boss power struggle. What would that look like can you see it? How does it manifest in the future of your business?

If this exercise is difficult for you? Here is a hint…we all have imagined what our perfect partner or soulmate would look like. How we would feel with them, and how our future would manifest with them as our partner. Use this process as a foundation but substitute  your business for your soul mate.

Having a vision is crucial! Choosing the vision of how we want our future to manifest is a powerful exercise. It gives us the power to choose and create, it allows for us not to DEFAULT into a relationship that does not serve us. Do not DEFAULT it creates a soul sucking dynamic. We don’t want to recreate every toxic relationship we have had in our business. There is another way.

Do you relate to my journey here? Could you be in an abusive relationship with your business? Do you feel like you’re an employee to a mean, unrelenting boss? Want some help changing that?

Let me show you how to fire your mean boss – register for my Teleseminar on 2/29/16 at 1 pm EST I will teach your How to Fall In Love With Your Business too.

Falling in Love with Your Business – Step 1

 Step 1: Its Personal Attributes

In a recent blog post, “How to Find Big Magic, and Love Your Business,” I shared about my journey in and out of an abusive relationship with my business. Yes, you heard that right, my business. Inspired by Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic, I took steps to create my own “Big Magic” in my business by ending the abusive relationship I had created and, instead, turning it into a Love Affair. See how I turned nastiness to love by reading that post here.

After that “Reckoning” with myself, more magic happened as that post has been liked, shared, and commented on more than any blog I’ve ever written. Clearly, I hit a nerve! A nasty, “mean boss” yucky nerve!

I think too often we don’t give ourselves the time and space to really create a bigger picture of what we want in our business or in our lives, for that matter. Creation of our business first comes from a deep WHY and then gets buried by the HOW. If we took a moment to explore the notion of ourselves in relationship to our business, and what paradigm we want to have, I believe many of us would have a different outcome.

We create our businesses with hope, and excitement for the future, much like we enter into a new relationship. And just as easily, without discernment and clarity, we can create the same personal relationships over and over. I know of what I speak. There is “no shame in my game.” I have been married three times. I created the same dynamic again and again, until I found clarity and changed my paradigm. I am now happily married and there is no damn way I am falling into that trap again. This man is worth the personal work to change my mindset.

What I learned is that my business is also worth that investment of time, energy and paradigm shift. I needed to do more than focus on dollars and cents, systems, marketing, networking, program development, and coaching. You know, all the HOWS. I learned that I needed to create an intimate, loving relationship with my business. And dig up that WHY.

The first of the 5 steps that I took to get from nasty to love in my business is this:

Step 1: I wrote a list of all the things I wanted from my business as if it was a person; what attributes I wanted; how I wanted to relate to it. Here’s a sampling of my list to give you an idea:

  • I want to feel connected and in daily communication with my business. I want a daily dialogue about what works and what doesn’t. What feels right and what feels “Oh so wrong!” A clear line of communication with no judgements.
  • I want to be nurtured by my business, emotionally and financially. I want to nurture my business in return.
  • I want my business to be playful and fun, not too serious. I do not respond well to serious, stoic and demanding people. (Why would I want my business to be like that?)
  • If my business is an entity, I want it to be like the Ghost of Christmas Present. (I know this may sound a little crazy, but you know me, I can be a little wacky. There is a reason for this!) Christmas Present is jovial, celebratory, bigger than-life and “in the moment.” This ghost can be serious when needed and has the ability to let things go that are not of current importance.

How’d you do with your list? Not that easy, right? If you have trouble listing the things you WANT from your business, start with a list of what you DON’T want and work up to it! Remember, this list of WANTS will lead you to your love affair with your business. It’s worth the effort to write these things down! Trust me!

Sit with your list. How does it make you feel? What messages are you telling yourself? Are you deserving of this kind of relationship? Can you envision a business that brings you all this? I’d love it if you shared your thoughts in the comments below.

If you are feeling uncomfortable with allowing yourself to be supported by your business, to be “loved” by your business, and would like some help sorting it out and creating your own “Big Magic,” contact me for a complimentary Discovery Call. I would love to help you find your way to a hot and heavy romance with your business!

Stay tuned for Step 2 in this process, when we’ll create a detailed vision of the new partnership with your business.

What is Money Mindset and How Can I Tap Into Wealth?

Intention is the key to abundance

This past year one of my goals was to secure some podcast interviews and begin to get more exposure in my work and in my business. I never imagined how much fun that I would have being interviewed for these Podcasts. The people I have met along the way are Dynamic and amazing women in business.

My intention is to create a Throw Back Thursday Podcast post, so that you fine people will not miss a thang!

It was an honor to be interviewed on Money Mindset by Granting Favor Talk Radio. Check out the interview here

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/favorbiz/2015/11/12/money-mindset–tap-into-wealth–nicole-lewis-keeber

Let me know what you think? If you want to learn more about Money Mindset and Tapping Into Wealth I invite you to contact me