Tag Archives: Transformation

The truth about intuition, and a blue bird!

Have you ever found yourself in a place where you know it is time to make a change? Maybe it is time to make some hard decisions about a relationship you are in. Maybe it is becoming clear that it is time to leave your job or maybe even your career? Whatever the decision is that you need to make? The ability to ignore that decision gets harder and harder. Maybe you watch TV more, you hang out on social media, hell maybe you indulge in 2 extra cocktails or beers to silence the noise. It does not work for long does it?

The voice that is loud in your ear is your intuition, it is your wise mind. It is the voice that knows what needs to be done for your higher good even if it feels scary, or hard. This intuition when trusted can be the catalyst for more in your life than you ever imagined. But,how to be brave?

How to follow something that comes to us in the very place that also houses our greatest doubts? Our inner critic, the shame and experiences that catalog our life so far. This jumbled mind, the wild west of all of the things that inspire us and terrifies us? It is not easy to trust is it?

I am very familiar with that voice, that very voice has given me the courage to leave relationships that were not for my highest good. It showed me the way out of jobs that were unhealthy for me, and a career that had run its course. It has not always been easy because my Inner Critic has been just as loud for as many years. But, there is a way to see your way through. Keep reading..

Right now as I write this, I am in the middle of that war of Inner Critic and Wise Mind. It has been a loud and noisy battle that has been raging about the future of my business and client work. My wise mind is so loud and so emphatic! It has the passion of a teenager who knows FOR A FACT THAT THEY WILL DIE if they do not get to go to the beach party with the other kids. It is that certain, that loud and that passionate about the fact that I need to rebrand myself. It is emphatic that I should call myself a Business Therapist and that I should offer more than money mindset, and that I should be the emotional support person for entrepreneurs, coaches, healers, and business owners. It has quite a compelling argument.

The other voice my Inner Critic is telling me, that without question if I decide to step into the spotlight as a Business Therapist that not only will my business die, but I could die as well. It is saying, “ This would be catastrophic! No one would want that! Who are you kidding!! WTF? Nicole? Are you listening?” Whew also pretty loud and scary. SO what to do? What do we do when we are in the middle of the pivot?How do we handle the battle for real-estate not only in our mind but in our future decisions?

We look for signs. Yup. External signs.Nudges to act. Consistent confirmation from outside sources that add up to show that there is a defined road map forward in following our intuition and that we will indeed be OK.  How do we get these signs? We get still, we ask and then we watch.

Last weekend I was on my hill, the war raging in my head. I sat in the grass and I got still, and quiet and I surrendered. I said to the universe I surrender, send me a sign so that I have the courage to follow my wise mind. Then I waited. I waited some more. My Inner Critic had a tantrum but I held fast and then it happened.

The most beautiful blue colored bird flew by me, I watched it fly up towards a tree and disappear. This got my attention, I asked myself, “ where did it go? It was right there? “ I kept looking at the tree but the only bird in the tree was a average looking brown bird. Then something amazing happened.

That average brown bird took flight again and soared over me once more with the most gorgeous blue underbelly and wings I had ever seen. It hit me like a ton of bricks. This bird was average looking and uninteresting until it spread its wings and flew. When it soared through the air it was gorgeous! Purposeful! Almost magical! In that moment I knew I had my answer.

In order to stand out, you must stand in your truth. To attract the attention that you desire YOU must spread your wings and fly! When we soar our true self, talents and unique beauty is revealed to the world. So, my intuition wins this round. Soar, show your true colors! And so it is…

Wrap up tips on how to follow your intuition:

  1. Recognize that you have a wise mind and it has been giving you signs and nudges all along.
  2. Get still, be quiet even for a short time so it can reveal itself to you in full without static from your inner critic.
  3. Ask for a sign or guidance
  4. Wait and watch
  5. Follow the answers that come to you with trust.

I hope this has been of help to you. Spread your wings, show your authentic self. It will help you make those hard decisions with confidence and purpose. If you are in need of someone to help guide you through those next steps once you have made your decision to pivot in your business, or life. Reach out to me here. Lets chat to see how I can be of service to you and your wise mind.

P.S. I would love for you to join us in my Facebook group Wealth Worth and Wisdom. Click here to ask to join.

Free gift- Knowing your Money Mindset Type is crucial to success of your business. Learn more about yours here.

It Is What It Is…And I Am What I Am

I have been on a journey of healing, self discovery, and stepping into the truth of what I am meant to do in the world. Honestly, after all of those years of therapy and the hundreds of self-help books and coaching training I really thought that I had A LOT figured out. However, I guess the point is that we never really figure things out. The more self aware we become the bigger the possibilities are for us so the target is always moving.

When I started my business I never imagined that it would be one of the most profound experiences of my life and the most exquisite vehicle for healing my wounds, uncovering my shadow and finding my confidence. I say it all of the time, starting a business is like taking in jump from the high dive into the the pool of personal development. Success in your business is just as contingent on how well you know yourself, and  have healed your wounds as it is on how great your business plan is.

In fact my own personal and professional opinion is that you can have the best business plan in the world and the numbers looking perfect and still tank your business. Yup, we do not leave our baggage at the door when we start a business, it comes in with us and can sink a water tight business plan.

The good news is that your business and your passion for it can also be the motivator and vehicle for profound self awareness and healing.That has been my experience and my wish for you. You are going to hear so much more about this from me. I am going to teach you how your business can help you heal.

I have not written a blog post in awhile because I have been conflicted. I struggled with the idea that I need to “stay on brand” stick with Money Mindset Topics, write only posts that will improve my SEO. Blog only about the topics that you can sell in your business. Well ya know what? I don’t follow rules very well and I like to write about everything. I like to write about healing, money and mindset, relationships, the personality of your business, and yes I even write about that scary word TRAUMA. (shudder)

I am first and foremost a therapist, I have a Master’s Degree in Social Work and I am licensed clinical social worker. I have 7 years of education and a clinical license that I worked hard for. To say that I can “BACK MY SHIT UP” when I speak about healing your relationship with yourself, your money and your business is an understatement.

It is my duty to do more, and go deeper with my clients. There are enough sound bites and armchair psychologists out there. They don’t need one more shallow mindset quip from me. I will leave that to the others. I send them love, not everyone is ready for what I do. SO there is really room for everyone. I cannot see myself as a coach anymore which is kind of unfortunate since my business is named Nicole Lewis-Keeber Coaching LLC 🙂 I guess that is a problem for another day.

So here we are…redefining a business…stepping into the spotlight as my true self. It is scary and I am not even sure what it looks like but I am open. In the meantime, I am going to continue to talk about and write about what I know best. I am going to continue to help my clients heal their relationships with their money, themselves and their businesses so that they can have a successful business that they love.

What can I say? It is what is and I am who I am. So let’s stop being anything but that shall we?

Spring Into Abundance

It is the first day of Spring! This makes me particularly happy because it hits me in all the right mindset places. I live in Pennsylvania so it gets dark cold and dreary here, which is hard for a girl who grew up in the sunnier state of North Carolina. So, I live for spring and the extended daylight and all of the promise that it brings.

So how can Spring help you with abundance? Oh, and will you forgive me for using the word abundance? I know that it is an overplayed marketing buzzword these days but I have not found a better word to use yet. ( taking suggestions)

Back to the topic at hand. How can Spring help you with abundance? In soo many ways! When we think about Spring it brings to mind life, growth, abundance, rebirth! We can take this fertile time of rebirth to set intentions for our life, business, and money.

I want you to take a moment, and think about what you love about Spring. What about it excites you? When you ponder it, I bet you begin to think of all of the activities you can do again, creating the yard and home you love again by planting, clearing and cleaning. Do you imagine yourself taking walks outside taking in all of the gorgeous flowers, trees, and budding wildlife? It is quite miraculous, isn’t it? What does it make you want to do?

Spring is my most creative time and the time of year that I must want to launch programs and be amongst the world. Launch coming more on that in a later post!

Here are 3 Steps that you can take to “ Spring into Abundance”

  1. Right now I want to visualize all of the lush colors of spring and I want you to take out a piece of paper, your journal or a document on your computer. Then, I want you to write down 3 intentions that you have for your business. What are 3 things that you want to grow this spring? ( I would love to hear them)
  2. I want you to write down 3 incomes goals that you have for your business. First, the number you are averaging now plus 10%, the number that you want to be making, and then finally the outrageous number that would make you toe curling happy! What steps can you take to begin making these numbers come to life?
  3. I want you to imagine what it would feel like to have the business of your dreams, the money in your outrageous goal, and the lifestyle that it would afford you. Write it down. Visualize it.

We must be able to see what we want to create. When we plant a seed for a flower we have a pretty good idea what that flower will look like, we water it and attend to it because we intentionally planted that seed and are nurturing the outcome. Setting intentions in our money and business are much the same.

Visualize what you want, write it down and set the intention and the follow the dream. Spring is a great time to do this. So why not start today? Let me help you set the intentions for your money and your business.

What would it mean to you if by the first day of summer you had met at least half of these goals? Let me help you get there. By filling out this form, you can request a complimentary discovery call to get started now.

Are you on Facebook? Join us in my private group called Wealth Worth and Wisdom. We would love to have you there.

Nothing is free..can you afford the real price?

Have you ever gotten free samples at Costco or Whole Foods? Come on, you know you have. In fact, I know some people who take their lunch break and nosh on free samples. It is OK I don’t judge. But I do want to ask you a question? How many times did you actually buy the full price item of the thing you sampled? Maybe 25% of the time at best? Most of the time don’t you just take your freebie and run?

How many samples of cosmetics or personal care items have you grabbed that ended up living a sad lonely life in the bottom of a basket or drawer? What is the % of times that the sample actually led to a purchase from you? Is it pretty low right?

I cannot tell you how many clients I have worked with in direct sales who have put time and effort into making, packaging and distributing freebies or had giveaways that rarely resulted in customers.

Are you seeing a pattern here? Free can have a high price tag when you are a small business owner or entrepreneur. I suppose that Costco or Sephora can front the cost of giving things away and the return on their investment is worth it. Not always the case if you are in business for yourself.

I myself am not above the fray. Let me give you a few examples of freebies, that did not work out for me.

  1. My very first experience with people disregarding something that they did not invest in was early on in my coaching practice. I had a very satisfied client who wanted her employees to also experience the coaching and the life changing experience that she had. This employer purchased my money mindset coaching program for 4 of her employees as a gift. How nice of her right? Anyone would jump at high-level coaching gifted to them, right? Not so true. Of the 4 employees, 1 attended 3 calls then bailed, 1 attended almost all then disappeared before the last call. 1 never cashed in and 1 went all the way through it with a grateful heart and is still a fan.
  2. Every once in awhile I will get a wild hair and decide to do something crazy. While in New Orleans in September this year, I decided to offer a 3 in 30 to my newsletter list. In this newsletter, I offered to give away 3, 30 min coaching sessions to the first 3 people who responded. 3 people responded right away and grabbed the sessions, only 1 of the 3 actually scheduled and attended.
  3. I have been in 2 giveaways where a lucky winner whose name was drawn would win a 60-minute coaching session with me. Of those 4 winners, only one person scheduled a call and redeemed their prize.

I guess you can see what I am going for. Right? Most of the time people do not value what they do not invest in. They have to have some skin in the game to take it seriously. If you undercharge for your services, they will not be respected and often times not purchased at all. If you give things away most of the time the people who would take it are not your ideal client and are not going to invest in your products or services.

There are some circumstances where giveaways can be of value but I have not found one yet. I am also not saying that there are not people out there who are not happy that they got your freebie but in my case, they have not ended up being clients.

The cautionary tale here is. Do not give away that which you cannot afford to. You cannot afford to give away your time. I had a client who was a personal trainer who offered a free in-person assessment and people routinely stood her up. That was an hour of her life she could not get back and one she could not afford to give. If you spend hours putting together samples and you see that it is not getting you a high rate of return? Think again.

I am not saying to never give anything away for free. I am giving you free advice right now correct? But it is something I can afford to give away because the time and effort it takes me to write this post are worth it due to a large number of people who will read it and learn from it. Remember this as you are creating pricing and putting a value on your time. What do you want to focus on? Discounts? Or Abundance?

I hope this was helpful to you. I would love to hear back from you about scenarios where a freebie was a flop. Or if you want to learn more about money and mindset and how it relates to your business? Contact me here!

 

Are you on Facebook? Join us in my private group called Wealth Worth and Wisdom. We would love to have you there.

I have a gift for you! Learn what your Money Mindset Type is by downloading this Guide. In this guide I show the 4 Types of Money Mindset I see the most, and share links to videos I created to teach you more about them!

How to Fall In Love With 2017

Here we are well into the halfway point through January. This is a hard time of year, every year. I actually wrote a blog post a year ago about the challenges that we face in January. Surprise Surprise it is very much the same! Just change the title to Is 2017 Kicking Your Ass Already? In that blog post I give some tips and encouragement on how to get by…read here.

So, even though we are well into January that does not mean that you cannot still set intentions and goals for 2017. You are hearing people talk about setting revenue goals, personal goals etc for this year. They are already hard at work at making 2017 work for them. Well, you know me I like to do things a bit differently. When I sat down to write out my goals, I felt compelled to send 2017 some love first. So, I wrote 2017 a big ole juicy love letter.

You heard me right! I wrote a love letter to a year, to the year 2017 to be exact. I know this sounds silly but if you have been following me, you know that I work hard to teach my clients how to fall in love with their business, by writing a love letter to it. Read more about that here. So why not fall in love with your year too?

I want to share with you all my Love Letter to 2017, and I invite you to write one too!

Dear 2017,

I am sorry to say that a lot is riding on your shoulders because of the many disappointments of 2016. You will need to be many things to many people. You will need to be a healer, light hearted, a teacher who shows us how to reconnect with one another, a champion to combat hate and fight for what is right. I have the feeling that you will rise to the occasion and that much will be revealed and be healed by your strong energy. Thank you for that in advance. Thank you thank you.

For me I want you to know, that I honor your energy light and power of manifestation. This year I will step up! I will claim my freedom with your help! By the end of this year, you and I will have lead many people to a deeper place of healing through writing, speaking and teaching. You and I will love my soul and body into a place of health, healing, and vibrancy. Releasing all old vows and patterns. You and I will create more wealth that I have ever known, and it will grow and help many.

We will facilitate deeper conversations with friends, family, and peers. We will be at the center of the women’s empowerment movement and our contribution will have a ripple effect. Dear 2017 Thank you for all you have and will do for me.

I then wrote a list of all of the amazing things that me and 2017 will create this year. It was so much fun and less daunting than the same old goal setting I have done in the past.

Then I signed it. Love your partner in all things, Nicole

So does this resonate with you? What do you think about writing a love letter to your year? Mine is just an example of what is possible and how to go about doing it. Get creative! Do your own thing!

I would love to hear back from you and even read your letters if you want to share them!

If you are intrigued about how you can fall in love with your business, create an intentional relationship with your money so that you can rock out 2017! I invite you to contact me here and schedule a Discovery Call!

P.S. Join me in my Facebook Group Wealth, Worth, and Wisdom. It is a closed group so you will have to ask to be added.

The Healing Curve

I will be honest when I tell you that I feel like I have been seeking to heal from things since birth. I never felt whole, secure, safe or valid. This is a hard way to live your life.I have always felt like I was a problem that needed solving, or that there was some kind of evil force in the world that was just waiting to reveal itself and come get me.

If you know me you know that I experienced a variety of wounds around my power by different sources throughout my life as a child and adult. This journey of healing has been a long and imperfect one. I have been very open and honest about the twists and turns in my life. I have been married 3 times, bankrupt, 360 lbs and suicidal.

But let’s get back to the feeling that I was born needing to heal because it is true.I was.I am so thankful that I now know that this is true, that we can be born carrying the traumas and pains from our families, our mother, and our ancestors. It is pretty freeing to know that you are not the origination of that pain. I am empowered by this knowledge and have embraced that it was my life’s work to heal it. Not only for me but for my family, ancestors and to teach those I coach.

You may not know this but I was a premature baby, and this was a  label I integrated into the areas of my life where I felt weaker or less than. I am so thankful now that I know that I CHOSE to get here early. I had work to do in this particular day and time and I NEEDED to be an Aquarian. It was an absolute necessity to do my work in the world. Kind of cool huh? I chose when and how I would get here. I am now choosing how to heal.

If you have read any previous posts of mine you know that I have been working on forgiveness and I have been teaching my clients how to reclaim their power. The response to this has been huge and I know that I am right on track with what I was meant to do here and to share with you all.

So how do we know when we have healed something?

This is always the question that I have tried to answer for myself and my clients. I mean think about it when you have a physical wound or a broken bone, there is not one light switch moment when you are healed. It does not work that way. In reality, healing happens in all of the little moments and we do not often notice that the healing took place until we look back and see how far we have come. You realize that the wound has now stopped bleeding, or the scar is fading. The break is impacting your mobility less, you can now walk with one crutch instead of two, you can get out of bed by yourself again. These are all of the little noticings that happen as you realize you are healing.

It is the same when we are healing our soul wounds, the body and spirit traumas we have experienced. We often notice that the healing quietly took place while we were focused on other things. I want to share with you how I knew that I had healed part of my story. I am hoping this will help you look back and see your own.

For many years I have hated Christmas, it was a time of year in my past where many bad things happened and was always a stressor that created more painful experiences. I have been a full on BAH HUMBUG for years. My husband will tell you that on November 1st the anxiety and anger, grief and dread would begin. I wished that I could fast forward to January and be done with November and December altogether.

This year something happened, I was in the car the first week of December and a Christmas song I loved as a kid came on the radio and electricity shot through my body. You know that feeling you feel as a kid when you know Santa is coming? The Christmas spirit! Yes, that one! I noticed this new feeling. I then became excited and sang in my car and had a longing to go look at  Christmas lights and drink eggnog 🙂  I was noticing that I was not in dread of the season.

This year I released all of the obligatory routines of the season that drove me crazy and I felt no guilt for it. This was a new feeling…I only did the things that gave me joy. As Christmas approached I felt excitement for spending quiet time alone with my husband celebrating the holiday together. This is not something we have done in 13 years because I was either traveling to see family, we had put our celebration on hold to travel together, or I was such a CRAPPY BAH HUMBUG it was no fun.

This year I did not feel bad about not being with family, I sent them love and well wishes. I did not grieve the past times with my Grandparents that are no long here. There was no sense of dread and the thought of being with just my husband with a few gifts some good food and Christmas movies made my heart happy. There was no loss.

Did I feel when the healing took place? No, not really, not that one moment. I noticed the signs, and then recognized the day after Christmas that it had taken place. It slipped in, it integrated, and it made itself know in subtle and not so subtle ways. I did not know the exact moment, but I knew now that I had been healed. I can tell you when I realized it I did NOT ignore it, or just overlook the miracle and move on. I expressed gratitude, I thanked the spiritual beings in my life, and I gave myself credit for doing the hard work. No way I was going to minimize this revelation.

Ok so there is a lot about ME in here, and my goal is always to show you how to heal by sharing my journey. So now I want to give you some tips on how healing takes place.

  1. Talk about it. You know the saying we are only as sick as our secrets. Find a professional you trust that can hold space for you to talk about your wound.
  2. Move your body, because our body holds our story and our pain. You can reach your emotional pain while getting in touch with your body. You can use many mind-body techniques like yoga, massage, EFT.
  3. Create boundaries with the people around you who have wounded you. You may have to create protective boundaries which mean you do NOT engage with them. Or you can negotiate boundaries with those that you want in your life but you do not want to resent or be angry with.
  4. Forgiveness work is important (see my blog post on it,) and speaks with a spiritual advisor or professional on how you can work on it too.
  5. Spiritual connection.I have gone from being a Southern Baptist Christian, to an atheist and now I am a spiritual child of the universe with no denomination and no edicts. When you can connect with the divine spirit in yourself the healing is right around the corner
  6. Gratitude. Get a journal and write in it daily. Write down at least 5 things you are grateful for. In you cannot express gratitude you cannot heal.

There are many more steps that you can take, but my deepest desire is to show you that healing is a process, it is a gift, and sometimes it is part of our soul mission on this planet. At the end of this blog post, I am going to include some resources that I have found to be helpful.

It would mean so much to me to hear your feedback, comments or your own experiences in healing. Please comment below and share your story with us all. If you would like to share it privately contact me here and share.

Have you been working on healing your wounds? Do you feel like you need support with this process? I would be happy to speak with you to see if I can be of help. Please contact me here.

Resource Books:

Women Food and God, Geneen Roth 

Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live, Martha Beck

Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert

The Tapping Solution for Weight Loss and Body Confidence, Jessica Ortner

The Emotion Code Dr. Bradley Nelson

People:

Anything and everything Debbie Ford

Anything and everything Dr. Christian Northrop

Anything and everything Marianne Williamson

Anything and everything Tara Brach

Last but not least Anything and Everything you can get your hands on by Brene’ Brown

8 Steps to Forgive With Love and Gratitude

nicole-cry-3Forgiveness work is tricky. I have been in therapy multiple times over the years, and the process of revealing and releasing pain and working towards forgiveness has been an ongoing journey. I have written letters that I have sent to people and some that I have burned. I have thrown my grievances into a fire and sent them gently down streams. Were these exercises helpful? Yes, I believe that they were in many instances. They helped me build pathways to new ways of thinking and experiencing my pain and the perpetrators of it.

As a therapist, I will admit that I have given similar homework to my clients and they have had a variety of results depending on their willingness to dig deep. Forgiveness work is tricky.

What I have continued to struggle with, has been how to forgive, and to let go of resentments and anger. I thought that I had forgiven those who harmed me including myself. I really did, but what I found is that when I engaged with that person or even thought of them, I would get sour and negative. Forgiveness is easier than recovering from the impact the event has on our life. Even so, I still sought to find new ways to forgive that will stick.

I want to back up here and say, that just because you forgive someone does not mean that you are obligated to allow them in your life.I am going to say that again, just because you forgive someone does not mean that you are obligated to allow them in your life. In fact, I think that 80 % or more of the time, those who have harmed us need to be in our rearview mirror. Yet, sometimes that person is someone that we love, and want to have in our lives in some small way that will not continue to harm us. That is where the hard work comes in.

I have forgiven scads of people, that I do not allow into my life anymore. They are permanently evicted from my sandbox! That has been easy! What has been hard had been setting loving limits, with emotional and physical boundaries with those that I want to still have in my life? What I have found is that having them in my life even in some small way continues to “poke the emotional bear” How can I be in a relationship with those that I have forgiven, without being re- wounded, and reminded of why they needed forgiveness in the first place? This is a delicate dance for sure.

This morning I meditated and yes I asked my angels and inner wisdom about this ongoing need to find forgiveness not just for past deeds but in the present. Especially when that person continues to live in their shadow and not seek the light. This is the message that I received.

“You have focused on the things that need to be forgiven enough. Now focus on loving that person and thanking them for the good things that they gave you” Hmm,Interesting

Ok so I have written down the “gifts” that came from overcoming the challenges that person or experience created for me, and while it was hard I could find them. But, I never looked for the gifts from the actual person. I had never allowed myself to looked at their light and explore what was there. I had only looked at how their shadow had impacted me and “forced” me to evolve or learn a life lesson.

So this is new for me. There may be those of you who are thinking “Oh my gosh Nicole how can you just be coming around to this” ? Fair enough, but I am a firm believer in timing and now is my time, because now I have an audience that can benefit from my tears.

Back to the List of Love and Gratitude. I sat down with my notebook and I wrote the person’s name at the top of the page. I began to write down the things that are good about this person and how I benefited from their goodness. How their light had impacted me in positive ways, and what I was grateful for that they given me. I will not lie, at first, it was hard because my wounded angry voice was quick to point out something BAD about this person with each positive thing I wrote down. This peep of mine would not be ignored so I took a breath, and I said to her “We have a lifetime of cataloging the bad things that this person did, we have ongoing evidence of how they wounded us, please do not think that you are being ignored, you aren’t. Allow me to find the light, because none of us exist fully in the darkness there is light to be found”. I promised her that I would keep her safe and that this was just a plot twist and experiment to see things from a new perspective.

Once I addressed her needs and soothed her she let go of her vice grip of negativity and the list flowed. The list flowed onto two pages I might add, and for the first time in years, I felt a deep release. I have documented that release in pictures because in the moment I felt a calling to show you what it looked like. Despite bed head, no makeup, and a blotchy face I needed to show you my pain. I thought that I would experience relief, but what I can tell you is that the first emotions were extreme pain and grief. It did not overtake me it just felt like a reverence for it, which allowed for love gratitude and relief to finds its way quickly to my heart.nicole-cry-1

It has changed me, and I will take this exercise and complete it again with the others who are on that list. I know this was a long post, and if you are still with me I am so grateful for your attention and for witnessing my journey. I hope that it will give you some hope and a tool that you can use to find some true forgiveness as well. I am going to outline the steps that I took but before I do that I want to speak to you about safety. Listen carefully. Forgiveness work can be transformational but it can also be highly triggering. Remember that I have had years in therapy and tons of personal development work as a coach. So I want to make a few points.

If you decide to try these steps that I outline, I want you to make sure that you are grounded. Say a prayer for safety first to the source of light that you rely on. I want you to allow yourself to go into the process without judgments of yourself. If you feel too emotional, or unsafe at any point I want you to stop, and again say a prayer to your guiding light and come back again later. You do not have to barrel through these steps. You know yourself and if you feel triggered take care of yourself and step away. Do not underestimate the power of this process.

Here are the steps that I took:

  1. I picked the person I wanted to focus on and wrote their name at the top of the page.
  2. I invited my angels and inner wisdom to help support me through it.
  3. I began to think of that person with love and gratitude.
  4. I wrote down a list of the things that I love about that person.
  5. I wrote a list of the things that this person did for me that were loving and good and that I am thankful for.
  6. When my inner voice got angry and tried to divert me back to my old way of thinking about this person, by reminding me of the bad things? I simply acknowledged her, and invited her to be a part of the new perception and honored her feelings.
  7. I gave thanks to my inner wisdom and guides, and let the tears flow.
  8. I journaled about my experience, and how it made me feel and what it is like to look at this person with new eyes.

What I had hoped for in going through this process, was to find some neutrality. I was not seeking to take this person from Villan to Hero. I simply wanted to take my perception of this person from Villan to neutral. In reality, it will not change anything about how I interact with this person in real life. We will not frolic in the daisies and go on picnics. NOPE, things will look much the same, but I WILL FEEL differently.

Now I am sharing this with you, in the hopes that it will create a ripple of forgiveness in your life. However, I do want to remind you that forgiveness does not mean those people who have harmed you are allowed access to you. For example, if a family member has been abusive in some way you can find forgiveness for them, but it does NOT require you to allow them access to harm you again. Physical and emotional safety is always a priority when we are working on forgiveness.

If this was helpful, please comment below, or send me a message by clicking here.  Are you interested in a deeper discussion on how you can find forgiveness? Contact me to find out more about my coaching programs. 

If you would like to hang out with me and a group of other amazing folks? Join us in my Facebook Group Wealth Worth and Wisdom. We would love to have you.

Independence Day Has A Personal Meaning

Today is July 4th or Independence Day as we call it in the USA. Many of us think of fireworks, beach days, cookouts and celebrations when we think of this day. It is a patriotic holiday and one we celebrate as a country with pride and much fanfare.

But what if this day could be a celebration of much deeper meaning? When you consider the actions that took place for this holiday to even exist, what are some of the ideas that come to mind? Could it be acts of courage? Perhaps it is a desire to think out of the box and manifest something new? Maybe to create something that others have never even dreamed possible. Self-sacrifice comes to mind as well as a commitment to something bigger than ourselves.

What if we looked at this holiday as an opportunity to go within? To find deeper meaning in ourselves. What if we could decide that this is a day we give ourselves time for self-reflection and independence from those things that do not serve us.This day can be about the determination to not stay in a place where hope and possibility are unavailable to us. This day was founded on taking bold action against naysayers to do what “ cannot be done” If you pause to think maybe you need is deeply personal, a desire to find a home, where you can be your true self without judgments, fear or danger.

If you could search your heart in this moment and think of one thing that is holding you back? One thing that is making you feel chained to an old life or way of thinking? What would it be?

Is it the belief that you cannot make more money? That you will never have a successful business? The belief that finding love is for other people? Is it the feeling that you will never be free of depression or anxiety? Could it be that you are doomed to never truly express who you are without judgments? Are you chained by what “ they “ might think? Whoever THEY are….

I can tell you exactly what has kept me from feeling Independent. The entirety of my life until very recently I have felt less than and not worthy. These feelings of low self-worth have manifested in many ways throughout the years but the one steady expression has been that I have felt fat. Whether I was fat or not I have always felt fat. I binge ate, dieted and self-abused myself up to a unliveable weight. I was so heavy and sick that in 2006 I had weight loss surgery to get freedom from obesity. I did lose a significant amount of weight, but I never got my Independence or the freedom I was seeking.

You see there is more to fixing” feeling fat”, than just losing weight. I struggled to gain my worth for a long time.9 years later I am so much further on that path and I feel so much hope. I have gained self-worth and love. I have done the hard mindset work, I have been in therapy, I have had all of those steps needed for a hero’s journey. You know the ones, I will not go into them all. I find myself today at this point in time, where Independence Day is not about food or fireworks. It is deeply personal. I have taken one more step towards Independence.

IMG_20160704_094224644Today I loved myself enough to go to the gym and move my body out of love and not hate for it. I cannot tell you how huge this is, and how hard claiming my Independence from self-loathing and abuse has been. These are my final steps, I have the love of my life, I have safety and security, I have a business that I love, I have a belief in abundance and that good things are coming my way. Now I am taking steps to be free of that final chain…so that I can have a body that is healthy, that I love and that loves me.

My deepest desire for you is that you take a moment today and think of that thing that you need independence from. Perhaps you could journal about it, or tell a friend or loved one. Name it, and claim your independence from it with one small step.

If you need help in naming and claiming your independence from this “ thing” that is holding you back. I invite you to reach out to me and let me help you. You can do this, with support and guidance I promise it is possible. Schedule A Complimentary Discovery Session with Nicole Here

Wishing you many blessings on this Day of Independence.

3 Tips to Help You Conquer Loneliness While Building Your Online Business

Does Your Online Business Leave You Feeling Lonely? 

I will be honest with you, I never imagined when I decided to create an online business as a Life and Money Mindset Coach that I would be so lonely? Oh, and to be brutally honest I never imagined how challenging it would be and how many new skill sets that I would have to learn as well. Coming from a therapy background my experience was much different, I saw my clients in person and had daily interactions with my peers. Hell, after I got my degree and started my practice all I needed to do was show up, provide excellent clinical services and do a bit of paperwork.

But I digress. Needless to say I was not prepared for the many demanding and isolating tasks that come along with an online business. I am a problem solver, so I began to look for opportunities to expand my tribe of peers, supporters and mentors.

These are 3 Steps I took to feel less isolated and meet some amazing new people.

  1. Find Local Women’s Groups That Are Not Strictly Networking Based

I looked for local women’s groups that had social activities and not just business networking events. I found an amazing group locally called, Kick-Ass Female Entrepreneurs organized by Anne Kirby. This group meets once a month and the meet up varies from Happy Hour, Karaoke, to more organized meet and greets with speakers. I have met inspiring, smart and fun women in this group. Not only has the group been a boost in my social life with women who “ get it” but it has also provided me with some new clients.

  1. Join a Local Co-Working Space

I found a co-working space which was a perfect fit for me, The Candy Factory is a tad quirky,and is run by creatives who always have something new and interesting going on. For a very small investment I was able to obtain a monthly community membership, which allows for me to co-work 2 days per month and attend their community meetings and events. It has helped to know that I have a local space to land when I want some human contact, or want to attend a Lunch and Learn, or a class on how to brew beer, or do my taxes. See what I mean? You name it they offer it! I bet that you have a similar space in your community. Find it! Join it! It has been worth every penny!

  1. Meet New People When You Travel

Do you have a favorite Podcast that you listen to? Perhaps you follow someone’s blog and you just think that they are the cat’s meow? Keep them in mind when you travel! One of my favorite Podcasts to listen to is All Up In Your Lady Business hosted by Jessica Stansbury and Jaclyn Mellone. I was delighted to hear Jessica talk about her home town which just so happens to be a small mountain town where my father has retired. I sent Jessica a message and suggested that the next time that I visit my Father perhaps we could have coffee, and to my surprise she agreed. I think sometimes we forget that the people behind the screen or the microphone are normal women just like us, and that they might be lonely too.

Last month that meeting finally took place as I was visiting for a family wedding! Here is a 944697_10208174058621976_1694465770981637653_npicture we took at our Talk Fest Coffee Date in the mountains. Not only did I have an enjoyable time getting to know Jessica but I also learned some new tips for running an online business. Jessica’s skill set is so far from my own, she is a Nerdy Tech Guru who helps women with their online businesses. My only hope is that learning about Money Mindset from me was as interesting to Jessica.

Have I made my point? Having an online business does not have to equal isolation, and mind numbing daily tasks. You can have a rich, meaningful, social life with people who “ get it”. When traveling look for opportunities to connect as well, it can make an obligatory trip into a way to connect with new and fun people.

Let me hear back from you. What are some ways that you combat loneliness while building your business? 

As a Life and Money Mindset Coach, I offer a Complimentary Discovery Session for those who are interested in learning more. If you would like to chat?Grab your time slot now as I only have a few open. http://www.meetme.so/NicoleLewis-Keeber

P.S. If you would like to learn more about the resources that I referred to in this post, here are easy links to them.

All Up In Your Lady Business Podcast

Jessica Stansberry

Jaclyn Mellone

The Candy Factory Membership

Anne Kirby

Vulnerability is the Bat Signal For Your Inner Critic!

Have you ever stepped out of your comfort zone and did something big? Something different? Maybe something fun but still scary? How did you feel before? How did you feel afterwards? I have a hunch you had a range of emotions that ran from butterflies in your stomach, irritation, anxiety and maybe afterwards regret.

So why, then do we have these feelings of discomfort when we step up and do something new or different? I will tell you why! It is because when we do something new or different it makes us vulnerable, and VULNERABILITY is the Bat Signal for your Inner Critic! Or your Inner Peeps as I often call them!

You know that voice the one that shoulds all over you? The one that is in your ear constantly trying to control your actions and feelings; and is often relentless. Yup. I know that voice too.

I am all about transparency, my clients know that I share victories and challenges. We walk through this coaching experience together. Earlier this week I got head shots done for my business and it prompted me to do a series of videos to show you what happens with our Inner Critic and how I can show to handle it.

Video One- The Leap

Video Two- The Chatter

Video Three-Mastery

Enjoy them, learn from them, and I would love it if you could give feedback about your Inner Critic.

PS: If you want to learn more about strategies for Firing Your Inner Critic, I invite you to download my free Book on the topic by signing up for my newsletter.