I would really love to tell you that as I’ve got my shit all figured out, but, alas, that is not the case. In fact, I’m a DAMN FINE Business Therapist because I haven’t gotten my shit figured out! I’m in the struggle, just like you! This keeps me hungry and “in the game,” wanting to learn and grow; hungry for knowledge; needing support and guidance. I feel where you are because I am right beside you.
So how do we know when we have healed something?
This is always the question that I have tried to answer for myself and my clients. I mean think about it when you have a physical wound or a broken bone, there is not one light switch moment when you are healed. It does not work that way. In reality, healing happens in all of the little moments and we do not often notice that the healing took place until we look back and see how far we have come. You realize that the wound has now stopped bleeding, or the scar is fading. The break is impacting your mobility less, you can now walk with one crutch instead of two, and you can get out of bed by yourself again. These are all of the little noticings that happen as you realize you are healing.
In my business I see clients abusing themselves with what appear to be highly driven and success-gaining behaviors. They strive; hustle; they bust their asses; they work themselves silly; and yet, no matter what, they don’t get relief. Do you know why? Because the solution is not to do more work or strive for more success. That only creates a vicious cycle that spirals. The solution is to engage in activities and in quiet contemplation to focus on feeling loved, and worthy, getting actual satisfaction from what you’ve created, and not needing outside approval to validate YOU.
We need to take an honest look at our life experiences and how they support us, how they can create challenges, and even create a pathway towards change, we do not drop our baggage at the door when we start a business, take a job, or enter into a relationship. It is wise to look at everything we bring to the table.
I DO NOT WANT you to fake anything because it will trigger your Inner Critic to call bullshit on you. Once your Inner Critic calls BS all bets are off and it will actively work at getting you to take another course. No, do not lie to yourself. Do not fake anything. Please! So, you may be wondering what to do instead. I am so glad you asked. I want you to learn how to OWN IT UNTIL YOU GROW IT!