“Fake it til you make it” is a harmful mantra 

I used to be a clinical supervisor for a methadone clinic, and I have a vast amount of experience with addictions. I would say 80% of my direct practice had some kind of treatment of addictions at its core. I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard a client say “ Fake it til you make it” or even better a dollar for every time a therapist or self-help group told them to do this.

It never sat well with me, I did not like the saying or what I saw this mantra  “ DO” to those clients. It set them up to lie to themselves. That inner voice of theirs, that critic reared its head every time someone would say that phrase. What I have come to learn is that our inner critic, shadow, saboteur whatever you want to call it does NOT appreciate being lied to. Nor, does it appreciate being ignored.

I DO NOT WANT you to fake anything because it will trigger your Inner Critic to call bullshit on you. Once your Inner Critic calls BS all bets are off and it will actively work at getting you to take another course.

No, do not lie to yourself. Do not fake anything. Please!  So, you may be wondering what to do instead.  I am so glad you asked. I want you to learn how to OWN IT UNTIL YOU GROW IT!

Ok so now that we have a new mantra what do we do with it?  How can you support your personal growth?

  1. Be honest.
  2. Feel the feelings.
  3. Pause and wait.
  4. Talk it out.
  5. Create intentions for the day.

Be honest with yourself about your emotions in the moment. Hold no judgments about it and just be curious. Feel your feelings, I KNOW THIS IS SO SCARY, but do it anyway! Feel your feelings so that you can take a breath and ask your inner voice “Why am I feeling this way and what does the part of me that is triggered need right now?” Pause and wait for an answer, again with curiosity and no judgments. 

Talk with someone you trust to discuss what steps and intentions you need to put in place to achieve the goals you want. It is important that these steps and intentions feel possible and are in alignment with your authentic self. Not just a list of things that someone else tells you that you SHOULD DO!

Wake up each morning and make a small list of intentions for the day, and at the end of the day celebrate those you attained. You must celebrate your progress, and this is impossible to do if you are faking it.

It is my deepest desire to help my clients create a pathway towards empowerment in all areas of their lives, including money, business, and self-worth. This requires us to get to know ourselves better, identify our patterns of behavior so that we can change them, and not simply fake it!

This is part of the journey we take on the Do No Harm Self-Paced Program. This program was designed to help service-based business owners, entrepreneurs, coaches, and leaders learn how to run a trauma-free business that will help your people, your processes, and your profits. You do this by learning about past trauma and its impact, and in doing so, you become empowered to serve the people you’re meant to serve in a deeper, more meaningful way and to heal yourself as part of that process.

You can remove trauma’s aftermath from your business structures, navigate around any trauma tripwires you may encounter, and lean in to the resilience and strength that trauma led you to develop.

To learn more about this program click here.

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