So how do we know when we have healed something?
This is always the question that I have tried to answer for myself and my clients. I mean think about it when you have a physical wound or a broken bone, there is not one light switch moment when you are healed. It does not work that way. In reality, healing happens in all of the little moments and we do not often notice that the healing took place until we look back and see how far we have come. You realize that the wound has now stopped bleeding, or the scar is fading. The break is impacting your mobility less, you can now walk with one crutch instead of two, and you can get out of bed by yourself again. These are all of the little noticings that happen as you realize you are healing.
What does “making it” actually look like? Who will you be and what do you need to accomplish to find redemption? The therapist in me would like to issue you an even deeper question. Who told you that you needed redemption anyway and is it really true? Is it possible to have your business just because you want it and not to prove your worthiness which by the way was a job it was never meant to have?
I am often told “You are so lucky that you are working for yourself now”, or “I wish I could do that too” There is no luck involved in this I promise you! But there are steps that you can take to begin to step up into your brilliance! These are some of the steps I took and that I teach my clients to as well.
It can happen in an instant as an entrepreneur. One moment you’re feeling on top of the world and you’re thrilled with your business and the next, you’re spiraling into a sea of self-doubt. A lot of things can trigger that negative narrative but one of the major factors in the thought process is comparison. As you’re going about your business, it’s easy to get derailed by someone else who appears to be doing better, thinking smarter, or going further than you are, even if you have very little evidence that they’re outperforming you.
In my business I see clients abusing themselves with what appear to be highly driven and success-gaining behaviors. They strive; hustle; they bust their asses; they work themselves silly; and yet, no matter what, they don’t get relief. Do you know why? Because the solution is not to do more work or strive for more success. That only creates a vicious cycle that spirals. The solution is to engage in activities and in quiet contemplation to focus on feeling loved, and worthy, getting actual satisfaction from what you’ve created, and not needing outside approval to validate YOU.
We need to take an honest look at our life experiences and how they support us, how they can create challenges, and even create a pathway towards change, we do not drop our baggage at the door when we start a business, take a job, or enter into a relationship. It is wise to look at everything we bring to the table.
I think too often we don’t give ourselves the time and space to really create a bigger picture of what we want in our business or in our lives, for that matter. The creation of our business first comes from a deep WHY and then gets buried by the HOW. If we took a moment to explore the notion of ourselves in relationship to our business, and what paradigm we want to have, I believe many of us would have a different outcome.