In a recent blog post, “Do I Love My Business,” I shared my journey in and out of an abusive relationship with my business. Yes, it is an old post that I revisit often. Why? Because like any relationship you can’t just do the work once and forget about it! It is always a work in progress.
I think too often we don’t give ourselves the time and space to really create a bigger picture of what we want in our business or in our lives, for that matter. The creation of our business first comes from a deep WHY and then gets buried by the HOW. If we took a moment to explore the notion of ourselves in relationship to our business, and what paradigm we want to have, I believe many of us would have a different outcome.
We create our businesses with hope, and excitement for the future, much like we enter into a new relationship. And just as easily, without discernment and clarity, we can create the same personal relationships over and over. I know of what I speak. There is “no shame in my game.” I have been married three times. I created the same dynamic again and again until I found clarity and changed my paradigm. I am now happily married and there is no damn way I am falling into that trap again. This man is worth the personal work to change my mindset.
What I learned is that my business is also worth that investment of time, energy, and paradigm shift. I needed to do more than focus on dollars and cents, systems, marketing, networking, program development, and coaching. You know, all the HOWS. I learned that I needed to create an intimate, loving relationship with my business. And dig up that WHY.
The first of the 5 steps that I took to get from nasty to love in my business is this:
Step 1: I wrote a list of all the things I wanted from my business as if it was a person; what attributes I wanted; how I wanted to relate to it. Here’s a sampling of my list to give you an idea:
- I want to feel connected and in daily communication with my business. I want a daily dialogue about what works and what doesn’t. What feels right and what feels “Oh so wrong!” A clear line of communication with no judgments.
- I want to be nurtured by my business, emotionally and financially. I want to nurture my business in return.
- I want my business to be playful and fun, not too serious. I do not respond well to serious, stoic, and demanding people. (Why would I want my business to be like that?)
Now it is your turn! Take a moment and write down at least three attributes you want to see in your business.
If you have trouble listing the things you WANT from your business, start with a list of what you DON’T want and work up to it! Remember, this list of WANTS will lead you to your love affair with your business. It’s worth the effort to write these things down! Trust me!
Sit with your list. How does it make you feel? What messages are you telling yourself? Are you deserving of this kind of relationship? Can you envision a business that brings you all this? I’d love it if you shared your thoughts in the comments below.