Step 1: Its Personal Attributes
In a recent blog post, “How to Find Big Magic, and Love Your Business,” I shared about my journey in and out of an abusive relationship with my business. Yes, you heard that right, my business. Inspired by Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic, I took steps to create my own “Big Magic” in my business by ending the abusive relationship I had created and, instead, turning it into a Love Affair. See how I turned nastiness to love by reading that post here.
After that “Reckoning” with myself, more magic happened as that post has been liked, shared, and commented on more than any blog I’ve ever written. Clearly, I hit a nerve! A nasty, “mean boss” yucky nerve!
I think too often we don’t give ourselves the time and space to really create a bigger picture of what we want in our business or in our lives, for that matter. Creation of our business first comes from a deep WHY and then gets buried by the HOW. If we took a moment to explore the notion of ourselves in relationship to our business, and what paradigm we want to have, I believe many of us would have a different outcome.
We create our businesses with hope, and excitement for the future, much like we enter into a new relationship. And just as easily, without discernment and clarity, we can create the same personal relationships over and over. I know of what I speak. There is “no shame in my game.” I have been married three times. I created the same dynamic again and again, until I found clarity and changed my paradigm. I am now happily married and there is no damn way I am falling into that trap again. This man is worth the personal work to change my mindset.
What I learned is that my business is also worth that investment of time, energy and paradigm shift. I needed to do more than focus on dollars and cents, systems, marketing, networking, program development, and coaching. You know, all the HOWS. I learned that I needed to create an intimate, loving relationship with my business. And dig up that WHY.
The first of the 5 steps that I took to get from nasty to love in my business is this:
Step 1: I wrote a list of all the things I wanted from my business as if it was a person; what attributes I wanted; how I wanted to relate to it. Here’s a sampling of my list to give you an idea:
- I want to feel connected and in daily communication with my business. I want a daily dialogue about what works and what doesn’t. What feels right and what feels “Oh so wrong!” A clear line of communication with no judgements.
- I want to be nurtured by my business, emotionally and financially. I want to nurture my business in return.
- I want my business to be playful and fun, not too serious. I do not respond well to serious, stoic and demanding people. (Why would I want my business to be like that?)
- If my business is an entity, I want it to be like the Ghost of Christmas Present. (I know this may sound a little crazy, but you know me, I can be a little wacky. There is a reason for this!) Christmas Present is jovial, celebratory, bigger than-life and “in the moment.” This ghost can be serious when needed and has the ability to let things go that are not of current importance.
How’d you do with your list? Not that easy, right? If you have trouble listing the things you WANT from your business, start with a list of what you DON’T want and work up to it! Remember, this list of WANTS will lead you to your love affair with your business. It’s worth the effort to write these things down! Trust me!
Sit with your list. How does it make you feel? What messages are you telling yourself? Are you deserving of this kind of relationship? Can you envision a business that brings you all this? I’d love it if you shared your thoughts in the comments below.
If you are feeling uncomfortable with allowing yourself to be supported by your business, to be “loved” by your business, and would like some help sorting it out and creating your own “Big Magic,” contact me for a complimentary Discovery Call. I would love to help you find your way to a hot and heavy romance with your business!
Stay tuned for Step 2 in this process, when we’ll create a detailed vision of the new partnership with your business.