If you are like me you are breathing a sigh of relief that the Frozen Fury has abated just a bit and that everyone you meet is not singing that song! For this reason I humbly apologize for bring the saying “Let it Go” back up. I promise you it is for a good reason. Really I do.
A coach friend of mine Elda Dorothy coaches people in the area of Family Estrangement and I always find her posts at Compassionate Truth for Family Estrangement compelling. Today she posted a picture that struck a chord with me (attached here with her blessing):
This time of year is tough. The Holidays bring up a lot of pain, regret, unfulfilled wishes, and longing. I like many people I know really dislike the Holidays and have to figure out ways to survive it each year. That is why this concept got my attention today.
In this world of avoiding emotions, too often we are encouraged to jump to the end of the process of pain by just “letting it go” but that is not a healthy and healing process. This is why I loved this picture. You have to hurt, you have to let the wound be revealed and all the damage it has done. Grieving the pain, and then finding the most perfect way to heal it, is a crucial step. If you do not look at the wound, you will not know the best medicine for it. One size does not fit all in healing.
You do not go to the ER with a gash in your hand only to have the Dr. say to you, without looking at your hand, “Just let it go” It just doesn’t work that way.
So this is the part that is always hard for me. I am not sure we ever “Let it Go”. We let people go. We let our re-traumatizing behaviors go, we learn to cope with the damage. We let the dream we held close go. Hell we even find some peace in moving into acceptance. I am just not sure that “Letting it Go” is possible. I do believe that if you take the longer road to feel your feelings, reveal your pain, find the healing then you have a better chance than most to “Let it Be”. I do believe as Elda does that you can find peace in the pieces.
Stay tuned for more Holiday related posts, and an exciting announcement on December 1st! Make sure you sign up for my newsletter so you can be in the loop for this exciting announcement!